"Pres. Obama: "The Audacity of "Big Oil Drunks!!!"""

Wow...

This is really some exciting stuff...
Let's get right to it...

The people of the Gulf have been intoxicated on "Big Oil" for years and as soon as the still spills they immediately go through the "DT's..." Wow... These people have a chemical dependency on the "Big Oil" like no where else in a America save Texas... And true to form, with the onset of withdrawal symptoms, comes the "craving" for "Big Oil" and their body is telling them that it "needs" more "Big Oil." As the physical symptoms of withdrawal begin to increase, taking another drink simply is the only thing that will satisfy them...
Wow... They get sicker and sicker as they watch all that "Big Oil" wash up on their coast instead of in great big drums so they can suck it up with a straw... Some of the symptoms are "mild" such as uncontrollable shakes, and sweats -- or perhaps nausea, headache, anxiety, a rapid heart beat, and increased blood pressure...

However, within six to 56 days after not drinking "Big Oil," hallucinations develop... They begin to see, taste, and smell "Big Oil" hallucinations which can last for weeks, months, or even years... Now after so many weeks of their precious "Big Oil" spilling on the beach, the people of the Gulf symptoms have progress into delirium tremens (DT's)... They are experiencing profound confusion, disorientation, hallucinations, hyperactivity, and extreme cardiovascular disturbances; to name a few...
Wow...
Now the Pres. is down their to assess their situation and he will find out very soon that short of giving them a really big drink of "Big Oil" there will be nothing he can say or do to change their symptoms... The Pres. must over look the symptom and address the real problem - "Big Oil Addiction..."
Wow... The only real treatment of "Big Oil Addiction" is to substitute it with high dosages of Medication (Drugs)... Move over "Snoop" there are 30 Millions Gulf "Big Oil Drunks" coming to a Pharmacy near you...
Wow...
I hope you feel me on this...
The people of the Gulf - James included - are acting like "Big Oil Drunks" who have emotional outburst as soon as you take their "Big Oil Bottle" from them... Ok to all you "Big Oil Gulppers" stop complaining over a few months of spilled oil when you have been "Gulping" it for years... The Pres. is not the "HMIC" (Head Maid In Charge), therefore grab a rag and start cleaning up... Besides, you are not the only situation happening in these UNited States - there are people dying in flood waters in Tenn, Ark, and Ok... I don't hear them complaining to the Pres. come down here and mop up this water... They are doing like American have done for centuries - roll up their sleeve and get to work...
You "Spoilled Gulf Big Oil Bibbers" save 11 are not dying from your addiction... So, get a grip... The Pres. is going to make sure that "BP" cough up enough money for all your medication so you can get a substitute for your addiction... Snoop you might want to buy up a huge supply, these "Gulf Gulppers" are some heavy users... Dahhhhhh!!!!
Wow...
"And who ruined the tourist industry on the Gulf beaches???" - The Gulf Gulppers by screaming "OMG the Spill - the Spill..." Crap you scared the Gulf going beach urge out of me... It wasn't until I saw the Pres. second visit down there on CNN that I realized that there was no "Big Oil" to mention washing up on the beach... See there goes those Hallucinations again... The Gov. of Miss. is not as addicted because he said from the getty-up, "Our beaches are clean- come to Ole Miss..."
Wow...
Now if you "Big Oil Addicts" were smart, you would take your boats out there and suck up all the oil you could then sell it on the open market... No one owns that oil floating on the water... You should start a "Big Oil Black gold Rush..." Force the Government to buy it from you as recycled oil, like I do with recycled cans... Now that is what you do with "Spilled Oil..."
I hope you feel me...
All I am saying is that "Culturally Speaking" we as a people don't allow the Brits from being a pain in our ass... We as Americans always find a way to "KICK THIER ASS!!!"

Wow...

who is the blame for this catastropheNow"B. P." , Johnny???

Good answer Johnny, now why can't they stop the leak???

"Stupid..."

Another good answer Johnny...
Now Johnny what would you do...
"I would fire all the engineers and hire "Cowboys...""
CowBoys, Johnny???
"Yes, COwboys know How to corral "Big Oil" then run it out through a shoot until they could stop the leak... " OH wow... So all "BP" has to do is create a mile high - mile wide corral of burlap to gather the spill around the leak then suck it out from the top because oil rises to the top of water... "
Great Johnny, you are the student of the day...

Wow...

It seems to me that if "BP" wanted to contain the oil spill they could... Besides if you are going to be "Big Oil" then be "Big Oil..."

WOw...

"Pres. Obama: "The Audacity of "Big Oil Drunks!!!"""